the extinction of the sloth

i've never given anything up for lent... it wasn't a tradition in the church where i was raised, and it's not something my family does, and although i've had plenty of friends "give something up" i've never really seen the point... contemplating over the actual reasons to give something up, i've been told a few rationalizations:

• giving something up, to take away something excessive or luxurious in our lives (like in the film "chocolat")
• to recognize the passover season
• to "suffer" for 40 days like Jesus did in the desert
• to remove something that is keeping us from God, something that is adding distance

and i've always liked when people add something to their lives to bring them closer to God, something that increases their understanding of Christ and His will for them in their lives... i've decided to give something up this season:

LAZINESS

i've gotten extremely lazy, all kinds of reasons aside... i'm done

"Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. - Eph 5 14-17

i will join my church in the 40 days of prayer and reading... i will take the initiative and spend time with people... i will do my studies as best as i can... i will exercise, i will learn to cook new things, i will email and send letters to people i haven't in a long time, i will know my limits but i will not simply NOT do something because i don't want to if something inside me tells me i can and i should and i will... i will spend more time with God and i will respond to Him...


i will remember that my Savior came to this earth, to exemplify God's will and thoughts and ideals for this world, so that we could all know how to live while we're here and so that we can all live when we're gone...

i think therefore...

we are not simply who we are...
a yellow flower in a field, a dandelion...
that same one in a prize-winning garden, a weed...
a lion in a zoo, a captive king-of-the jungle...
a lion in the wild, a threat to your children...
soda in a bottle, a fizzy drink...
soda out of the bottle, a mess all over the floor...
carbon in the sink of permafrost, frozen carbon...
carbon released into the atmosphere, catalyst for global warming...
3-meters of snow in the alps, good skiing...
3-meters of snow in Dallas, TX, national disaster and city holiday...
popcorn in a box, a snack to get you through a really intense film...
outta the box, something i have to clean up...
a guitar in the corner, a dust-collector...
a guitar in the hands of carlos santana, magic...

what is our potential? what are we doing with ourselves? we are who we are, but are we actually who we are supposed to be? are we valuable or threatening? suppressed or an uncontrollable mess? are we alive?
i believe that we are where we are supposed to be... even if we have had to make decisions, there is no right and wrong, if God is in front of everything and backing ya up all the way... its what we do when we get there... everything has a place, a time, a reason to DO something...
i may be a flower, but am i a weed or am i brightening someone's day?
wow that's one of the strangest analogies i've ever applied to myself, but you get the idea...
yep, those are my random thoughts for the day...

hooray for the journey

oh yeah, prayer request, and its slightly random...
i have just received the opportunity to research hippos and their conflict with humans (among other things...) in namibia...
please pray that if i jump into this, without thinking, as i usually do, that all the details work out (financially, academically, adventure-related funness!) and that my parents don't take the risk of me falling out of a helicopter above a river full of Africa's most deadly animals too seriously...
and funny as that thought can be, it's probably a split 50/50 sarcastic/sincere remark :)
and pray that God stays in the picture... this is just more than counting hippos for the sake of knowing (although ecologically that's important).. this is also all about conserving these animals and working with people that have to face the risk those animals pose every single day... this is a great org (www.nnf.org.na)... its a service to His Creation and His Created... woo hoo doggies!
the future is so foggy and yet so bright...

the world is not enough

i love not sleeping...
insecurity. weakness in our own eyes, when we know of the voices and doubts in our heads... but when those are voiced, opportunity for the holy spirit to show us just why we need each other... it seems so trivial sometimes, but all we need is the littlest notion of someone else believing in us, someone else caring for us, someone else acknowledging our presence, our being, our existence, and all the questioning in the world disappears... the Spirit can just work through stubborn hearts, seemingly deaf ears, and thick skulls to bring out the most minute and wonderful moments and statements... although the worries seem ridiculous or sometimes huge, they vanish...
i think this is way we aren't supposed to go it alone... if it was just up to me and God, i wouldn't be where i am right now, who i am right now, and probably even capable to admit that i believe there IS a God. a big one. cuz i can't always hear his voice in my head, my heart... i can hear it when someone else says "how are you?" or gives you a smile, hug, or high five...
all these thoughts sound better in my head, but all in all, God uses us and that's why we need each other... i can't doubt that... when i do and hide away with the kids in my head, will someone please slap me??? thanks :D

nutella

re-visiting thoughts that were brought back to my mind via john's blog... yo buddy!
there are days where i remember how blessed i am to be here, in edinburgh, where i'm constantly meeting new people and going on new adventures with them (aka i met a guy in church on sunday and now he's coming with me to st andrews for the weekend cuz we have mutual friends... small world, actually, small island)...
there are days when i'm homesick, for my college life mostly... for the amazing home that 1680 was, for the amazing people that are my life-long friends, for minnesota cold, izzys ice cream, minnesota hot, not being asked if i'm canadian...
there are days when i miss my family, my sisters whom i don't know well enough, my brother whom i can't believe shaves, my parents whom i understand more and more every day without talking to them...
and there are days when i feel like my heart is spread so thin, i want to be here, st paul, fargo, kansas city, antarctica (mostly cuz i've never been there), st. andrews, gramma's house, red willow bible camp, madeline island, canada, grand forks, anywhere warmer than here... and these are the days i lose sight of where i'm at and where i'm going, who i'm with, why i should be here, who should i talk to, how many more people can i meet and how many will i leave? i feel like i'm stretching myself so thin that i don't matter anymore...
yet this kingdom is not lonely, it is not only local but global, it is not only here it is there, and God is with me...
i guess i have to wonder if i'm leaving God's imprint wherever i go?
now i'm getting lost in tangents (thanks john) but so goes it in my mind... happy weekend ya'lls... wherever you are in the world, i love you. :D

thanks for all the fish

ever watched dolphins, playing, laughing, dancing in the water and be jealous of their enjoyment of life?

when's the last time you skipped down the street, giggling like you were 4 years old, singing the song that's the melody of your heart?

swirls of green and blue

my utopia:
blue skies, green grass, fresh air, starry skies
no such thing as hunger, hatred, greed, jealousy, loneliness
predators might still live in conflict, but in balance
the existence of humankind wouldn't be its main problem
people would have their needs, and not more
those that needed something from someone would trade for the equivalent
balance
nothing more, nothing less
just balance

i think everyone has an idea for a perfect world... i think they all circle around the idea of happiness... many people i talk to (which will be the reason for the bias) speak of no global warming, no wars, no greed, no prejudice, no borders, no nations... just plants, people, animals, planet... life
i know some people dream of power, money, cars, plasma screens, multiple country villas, 24 carat everything... this is their utopia...
what really gets me, is that these people get their way