boulders, bricks, and cracking mortar

you know when things just really aren't going your way.... makes you wonder if you should be going that way at all... it just seems that everything in the last 72 hours has gone wrong, from little things to some big things... and i'm kinda lost on what to do about it all... i wonder if the uncertainty of my plans, which is somewhat discouraging, is supposed to be discouraging and i'm supposed to react as such... but as stubborn as i am, i will keep fighting it all... for now... and have faith that it will get me somewhere, hopefully along some path that seems right...
God took care of thousands in a desert for 40 years, i'm sure He can take care of me in this rainy country for a few more months...

the rise of the tides

my life has been absorbed by paperwork since returning to scotland... in a good way... it breaks up the monotony of going to work 1-9 every day... yeppers, every. day.
so i'm applying for a work visa and a new job... prayers would be good...
but it's good to be back... i loved LOVED catching up with so many people that are so important to me, even though our encounters are few and far between... catching up with people in edinburgh (and making new, random acquaintances) will keep me highly entertained for a while :D
but these are my thoughts from a few nights ago... then i'm back to immigration... but its been awhile since i've reflected on faith, God, and where i'm straggling along in this journey we're all on...

1 corinthians 10 -- the believer's freedom
everything is permissible -- but not beneficial or constructive.
we all have free will, choices, options, we can do anything... but we need to think of others... we are all connected... i'm definitely not an example of thinking of others... i left the country where all my relatives and many of my friends are, far far away from where they can reach me... the degree of selfishness on that choice in my life changes each time i analyze it... i don't like that my choices hurt people... and i don't always know that God is leading me where i'm taking myself... but if i keep my focus on Him, He'll be with me wherever i end up... so i apologize to those i've hurt, to those who feel somewhat abandoned, left behind, unprioritized... my love is still with many across the ocean... but this is where i am now... for now...

the megaphone

sports are great... in the past week, the patriots (nfl) have become only the 4th team in football history to have an undefeated regular season and that game versus the giants was spectacular! the score was close, it came down to the last play, there were big plays and there were solid drives and really, really enjoyable to watch... congrats to the pats for winning and breaking several records... but congrats to the giants for actually playing the game... several commentators were talking about how the giants didn't need to play to win, they are guaranteed a spot in the play-offs, and they could've played their second string and given the pats their place in history... and they showed up and rocked the pats world...
the penguins and sabres played in the first outdoor nhl game in the us in history... the weather couldn't have been better -- snow! and wind and all kinds of the crazy stuff that hockey players grew up playing in... no more climate control (but zamboni's were still on call)... all about the elements and the puck... very fun game to watch (and i hope it was fun to play)...
i enjoyed watching the glitz of professional sports disappear for a short time... football was not about rolling over and letting the top dogs win... hockey was not about the biggest fight... it was about playing the game... good on ya guys...