snapshot

the capacity to love is a magnificent gift...
how do we do that, though?
do we care, listen, prioritize others above ourselves, sacrifice our own interests for others, make decisions based on the reverberations on more than just ourselves? remember birthdays, holidays, special days, apologies, random acts of kindness, random phone calls/emails/letters simply to say hi? offer a hug, minute, prayer, cookie, bandage to make something better?
a simple concept... an overlooked concept...
right now, i feel like i'm overlooking all dimensions of love in my life... and incapable of returning or giving much of it to anyone around me... travelling, living, working, hanging out with the same people, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year (give or take some moments) there is prime opportunity for me to love these four friends of mine... we are staying in the same 20x20 ft room, and there are times i feel miles away from them...
none of this is their fault...
yes i love my friends... but do they know that?
the ones in this room in new zealand, and the ones that are thousands of miles away...
flipping through photos in my mind, i see the faces of the ones whose company i enjoy and love, miss dearly, whose conversation makes me laugh, cry, think, and comfortable... the ones who i talked to for a few minutes, others for years... i wonder when i will see them again, where we will be, and if it will be the same...
i guess i can only hope that they know i love them, for who they are, and for who they are to me... how can i show them that? this is a start i guess...
but if anyone has any suggestions, i'm all ears

twilight zone

the age of weddings, babies, divorces, denial of birthdays, mini-life crises, moving, travel, and financial uncertainty: the mid 20s...
there are days when i feel like the world is my oyster, and others where i think that it is all shriveled up and been tossed over my shoulder like some unlucky, never to be read poetry.. ok, possibly a bad example but i think you get what i´m trying to say...
young to many but old to others... responsible enough to have a credit card but still feel young enough to play on seesaws... old enough to drink but not young enough to drink a lot and enjoy it... can stay out late but usually don´t want to... no wonder we in our twenties are stressed out, we are caught in the middle of opportunity and capability and not really sure where to turn because we know our limits...
not really looking forward to the contradictions of the 30s if this is where its all going :)