power of attorney

there is a certain lightness in my soul lately...

with this massive trip pending, there are a lot of details -- paperwork, websites, places for us to stay/work/go, reservations, research, etc etc -- many of which involve financial details... i really dislike dealing with money and how it can corrupt people and how people do corrupt things with it, but it makes things happen, even the little but important things, like food and rent... so its one of those things i can't ignore in life...
but i had become obsessed with it, to be frank...
not usually a characteristic of myself, i tend to ignore the numbers in and out of my account, but with all the attention focused on those numbers, its no wonder it sat at the front of my brain, my concentration, about how not to spend money so i could spend it on our trip... but there are things that need to be paid for, and debts are included in that...
and some debts i would like to think i can just wish away and they will disappear... but life doesn't work like that... so after making it disappear (aka paying ha ha :D ), all of a sudden, tension and a weird stomachache both disappeared as well...
i just needed to let go... and its only a start i think... the financial worries of this trip are the least of my troubles, i think... yes my financial situation will be tested, but so will my emotional, spiritual, and physical well being, my cultural openness, acceptance, and meshing, and the relationships with the people i will be traveling with...
all of these are worth so much more than what money can buy...
i need to trust... if i give it up, God will care for it all, and who could do it better? even if i don't like it or understand it at the time...
i say this like its going to be easy... ha... this is only the beginning...