mona lisa smile

you ever wonder how different the world would be if we had thought bubbles appear above our heads, showcasing every thought we had?

i would have to control my thoughts a lot better if this was the case... i try to keep my words relatively neutral, not trying to stir up controversy or tempers, unless of course, i am trying to do just that... say difficult things without being too insulting, using that tact that we do... unless i speak without thinking, which happens all too often, but it would be arrogant to think i'm alone in this vice... but to control my thoughts? i am ashamed of half of the stuff that runs through my brain, and that really shouldn't be the case... the state of my mind must reflect my attitude, my heart, my soul... to be as cynical and bitter as it is at times, i don't know if that's very healthy...

i don't like it, but it's there... i could blame it on all kinds of things with petty excuses, but the truth of the matter is my heart just isn't in the right place... i am a Christian, anyone reading this won't be surprised by that if you know me and know me well enough.. i should be reflecting God's unconditional love, understanding, patience, and all those good virtues... but so often i am judgmental, sarcastic, and angry... for really stupid little reasons...

sunday karl gave a great sermon on John 3... classic, but relevant: God is about relationships, not religion, not rules, not who anyone was or what anyone did or what they didn't do, said, so on and so on... He wants us to be in relationship with him, Father/child, Creator/Created, artist/sculpture (but more interactive)...although i've been mimicking that last one... not really speaking back, listening, just kinda sitting there, hoping to be admired when there really isn't much for the artist to admire...
i'm blessed because it isn't my blemishes He sees...
but i need to be more than a dusty dead stone, however carved, molded, and envisioned... more alive, more active, more interested in getting to know the one who made me, the one who saved me, and the person He wants me to be...
its my own personal challenge for life... help! :D