the hammer...

i guess i should explain the whole theme of this blog... my hammer...
five years of working at red willow, i portrayed a soldier during our Christ Hike, a dramatic re-enactment of Christ's life from baptism to resurrection... actually walking in the footsteps of those who crucified Christ (well, if they had been walking in North Dakota, but that detail aside) and trying to even slightly imagine the emotional and spiritual rollar coaster that they went through, especially the centurian who could see, after Christ died, that He truly was the Son of God... it gave me a different perspective on the realities of sin...
as a Christian, i may carry my cross, but i also carry this hammer... its with me always... i was the one who led Christ to that hill, held his trembling, already bleeding arms to the crossbars, and pounded those nails in, sealing His fate to suffering... and mine to redemption... when that cross was raised, it was on my order, but for my sake... Luke 23:34 "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do"... He stared in my eyes when He said that... i don't know what i do, everytime i sin, turn my back on my Lord and Savior, i don't know how much it hurts Him when i don't stand up for my faith, or anything that He stood for... justice, love, truth, preserving the beauty in this world... i might feel a slight pang of guilt in my heart.. He felt the thorns, the spear, the nails.. and i drive them in deeper, every single day... but when He looked in my eyes, He thought of me... when He breathed His last breath, He thought of me, and with love in His heart that I cannot fathom, it was finished... He had been cast out of this world, one step closer to His home... the world hated Him, He loved the people of His Father's world...
the soldiers didn't know what they were doing... true, they killed the Son of God.. but they had to, and they had no idea that those nails may have pierced the flesh of a man, a rebel, a lunatic, a heretic, a teacher... but they also secured salvation for the world, on a cross, for all to see...
we don't know what we're doing, but we're still forgiven.. Isaiah 59 paints a horrific colorful picture of how sinful we all are... but closes with the hope of salvation, that God's almighty arm will reach out by HIS OWN WILL to save His people... "Forgive them, Father..."


Our God is an awesome God