hmmm...

why is it that people ask for black coffee and then ask why there isn't any milk in it?
why is our natural (or usual) reaction to things we don't understand, fear?
why do we close our eyes when we're about to get hit or collide with something, as if that will make it hurt less?
why are we compelled to eat when watching television or movies?
why do we have different taste preferences?
why do we love to question ideas like the universe, infinity, the after life, and other things that will probably never have an answer?
why are we inclined to swat flies?
why are high heels professional, instead of tennis shoes?
why do we laugh?
why do we cry?
why do we hiccup? no, really, why?

my head buzzes, and its not the cider i'm drinking on an empty stomach... it was long before the drink...
matthew 23 or something around there... the end of days, the Lord separates the sheep from the goats... one blessed with eternal life, the other cursed with eternal damnation... harsh but it makes up the disciplinary backbone of Christianity...
except it talks about works...
clothe... feed... water... visit... care for... shelter... love...
whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do for me...
just our Christian brothers (/sisters)? i argue that... i don't believe for any instance that our good works, as Christians, would be limited to caring for the immediate needs of solely Christians... granted, other passages encourage helping anyone and everyone (the good samaritan)... but this one has consequences, the Lord bases his judgment of humanity on this (their) acts or lack thereof...
i don't think its limited to Christian brothers... i think its all brothers of the flesh... i would almost argue its the world included, nature not excluded... we have unlimited love, how can it be limited?
i don't know, its complicated, salvation and the like... For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that whoever believed in Him may not die but have eternal life... and He came, not to judge, but to save... but the sheep who served the least will enter the gates...
i don't get it...
i don't like it...

self-exiled

again, the questions of where to do next lie in front of me... where to live, what to do when i'm there, who to be with, the questions we all face... moving in with my parents is an option, where i would work in that little town is a huge question but i have the blind faith that something would work out, as would meeting new people and friendships to be formed... the faith that i would be happy there is severly lacking, however... staying in the uk for a bit longer is also an option, albeit a more complicated one, logistically... all and all, the one thing i fear is getting stuck... i don't want to get bored, burnt-out, isolated in my own depressed and idle state... i would want out... but where would i go then? where is out? is that going to be a life-long trend -- i get bored, so i want out, something new, foreign, terrifying, different... eleanor roosevelt said "do one thing everyday that scares you"... it keeps the adrenile up, the nerves awake, the senses alive, life unpredictable...
a good thing, i'm not bored in scotland yet... i complain about the weather, but on days when the sun shines, i can't help but smile... i guess the rain even makes me laugh sometimes... but when is this stage of my life done? when is my next tangent? and where will it go...

the tension within

growing up in rural north dakota, where most people have some sort of guidance by the Christian church, i was under the false impression that being a Christian is easy... you go to church, go to school, go to work, all with the same people... no need for theological or philosophical argument... ha.
being a Christian is not easy...
the concepts are easy enough... love your neighbor... give to the "have-nots" what you have enough of... love your God... forgive (although that is a very difficult thing, the concept itself isn't too hard)... treat others like you would like to be treated, genuine and kind... basically, love...
why is it so difficult? why does Christianity have a bad reputation, and those that claim to be tolerant are intolerant of Christianity alone? why must those who live today suffer the angst caused by those of generations ago?
it isn't easy... it is no longer conventional... but we were warned... and its worth it...

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.Romans 8:17

music and peace and the gift of the tree

jared, zelda, and i went to a xavier rudd gig on wednesday night... i'm convinced there's no instrument the guy can't play... at least 4 different guitars, including a slap metal, acoustic, electric, and 12-string acoustic, while playing percussion (with his feet), and either harmonica or didgeridoo, or playing chimes and bongos and cymbols and bass... it was a really cool experience... also cool just because the guy really enjoys music, and playing music, and his beliefs and thoughts and soul comes out in his words... i like that... i believe that's what music is for... speaking to souls...

between Narnia and Terabithia

church makes me think... since karl, you read this every now and then, KARL YOU MAKE ME THINK! it's a good thing, and its a reason i went back to church in college... God brought me back to faith, faith brought me back to church...

anyway, not the point... the kingdom of God... manifested in the world... i have to say i've been blessed enough to experience it... working at red willow bible camp with some amazing Christians who aren't focused on litanies (i have no idea how to spell that), denominations, or Eucharist differences... although we discussed them between us who were Catholic / Mennonite / Lutheran / Baptist / Evangelical / non-denominational / confused, the differences between our faith in God didn't get between us or our focus on God... we had youth delivered to us every week, to escape from the "real world" / "matrix" / "civilization", whatever you want to call it, and we were all able to dwell in God's kingdom... not ignoring the pains and the realities of the life in which we live, but dealing with it and encouraging healing and faith and God showed His power... those were the most amazing summers of my life... the hardest thing was letting those kids go at the end of each week, knowing what they were going back to... but also knowing where we would return at the end of each summer...

we are in the world, but not of it... let Your Kingdom come

where have all the cowboys gone?

my flatmate naomi and i spend much of our time together, when neither of us is at work or working on college stuff, discussing the problems of the world, where they stem from, and how to solve them... our latest discovery: the issue with children these days -- apathy via Disney.

that's right, it's all disney's fault...ok, not in entirity, but hear me out...

think of the disney films "lion king" and earlier... all the way back to "snow white", the original, i believe... evil is a core presence in disney cartoons... everyone wanted Scar to get his just desserts... Captain Hook killed his own pirates with no regard and threatened the carefree lifestyle of childhood... Malificent is the scariest woman to ever be animated... maybe to ever be portrayed in a movie. ever. they all eminated evil. bad. they threatened lives, cast a dark shadow, scary music followed them everywhere they went, and their sidekicks, whilst they could be comic relief at times, they still had horrible motivations...

disney doesn't do that anymore... maybe they ran out of really really good fairy tales and folk tales and stories of ancient lore to animate... regardless, in one of their latest animations "meet the robinsons", the bad guy stole a time machine or something that threatened the advancement of technology in the future, so the futuristic world wouldn't have flying cars... simplified, but you get the idea: weak....

with definite sides of good and bad, we could identify with the good side (presumably), and actually care about the outcome... we wanted good to win, evil be defeated, and our disney happy ending... and those villains were more evil and heartless than anyone we could ever imagine possibly existing (i hope and again, presume)... without this, we become apathetic... and i think it could possibly affect kids in reality... the line between good and bad is blurred, characters are too "pc", and that carries over... good and bad don't have definition, everything is acceptable, and when you try to say something isn't (like knife or gun violence), they don't care because they can't see that...

if jafar or the evil stepmother were walking the streets, life would be different...

we still get it in live action films (harry potter, lord of the rings, even the first pirates of the caribbean)... good fights evil... evil is defeated, even if its a horrible, gruesome, difficult fight...

if we can't figure out if we're the dragon or prince charming, how is sleeping beauty ever going to wake up? ok, that's a bit airy and philosophical and i could go on forever, but you get the picture...