5:45 am -- alarm goes off.
6 am -- trying to force myself to eat breakfast and stay awake. it's simply too early but food is necessary!
7:30 am -- standing in line at the port-a-loo, still not really awake and not fully aware of what's going on.
7:45 am -- we are directed towards our "pens" and we stand, in the fading rain, waiting with people dressed in various colored shirts and all conducting strange little routines (some serious, some not)
7:53 am -- singing "500 miles" at the top of our lungs, still standing in the middle of a "pen" in the middle of the street
8 am -- clock starts
8:05 am -- cross the start line, thus begins 13.1 miles of running!
10:20 am -- cross the finish line. thus ends 13.1 miles of "running"!
so. as i sit here with icy-hot burning / cooling my quads on a sunday night, thought i'd recount my half-marathon experience whilst it was still fresh on the mind and muscles. it was a perfect morning for it, about 12 degrees Celsius, overcast with a drizzle of rain right at the beginning but waaaaaaaaaay too early in the morning for me. the nice thing is, it was early enough where i don't remember much of the first 4 miles and it doesn't feel like i was running for over 2 hours today. so that's nice. however, i can't say that i'm inspired to do a full marathon. watching the elite runners in the race after us, running twice as fast as our pace, i really respect people who dedicate so much time and energy to training for distance running... i am not one of those people naturally, and it will take a lot of convincing and an amazing charitable cause to ever get me to run a marathon. i think if it was something you could just get up and do, it'd be fine. it really is all the training it takes to be able to run that distance and actually enjoy / survive it.
so i'm slightly pessimistic at the moment -- the last half of my half marathon was quite painful, to be honest... i had a massive side ache that wouldn't go away, and this weird bloated / overhydrated feeling those last 6 miles (maybe too much information for you, sorry :P ) and as soon as i finished, my quads seized on me and continue to be rock-solid unhappy bunnies... but saying all of that, the rest of me feels fine and my breathing / heart rate recovered quickly, which is a really good feeling..
knowing i can be pushed that far is also a good feeling... calling a 30 minute run a "short" run now, instead of a long run, is also a good feeling... icy hot on my quads is an AMAZING feeling! and knowing that i did this for a great charity with a fabulous team of girls is also amazing..
just don't think i'll be running a marathon anytime soon. :)
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Sunday, 9 May 2010
i love haggis btw
if you lived with me at some point, you probably know a lot about me, but random list of things you might not know...
i sneeze a lot... at least once every morning, thus at least once every day
i cut my fingernails at least once every other day... a strange obsession from years of playing volleyball, playing guitar, and now rock climbing
i love to experiment with cooking... at the moment, my lunch is a calzone with caramelized onion and cous cous, peppers, salsa, jalepenos and cheddar... sadly inspiring but nothing other than what's in the fridge
i'm not a morning person but i love waking up to the sun and birds singing... it could be 4 in the morning and i'd be perfectly happy waking up to that... especially if i had been sleeping in a tent
i am terrified of heights... hate them, but loved skydiving
i dream of a place where people break out into choreographed song on the street... watching "glee" and eating jelly beans fuels this dream, it's just so happy
i'm a socialist at heart... controversial to some
i would love to open a cafe called "holy guacomole" because a friend of mine had a dream where someone gave him a chimichanga and told him, "keep this chimichanga for Mother Teresa"... pure genius
i sneeze a lot... at least once every morning, thus at least once every day
i cut my fingernails at least once every other day... a strange obsession from years of playing volleyball, playing guitar, and now rock climbing
i love to experiment with cooking... at the moment, my lunch is a calzone with caramelized onion and cous cous, peppers, salsa, jalepenos and cheddar... sadly inspiring but nothing other than what's in the fridge
i'm not a morning person but i love waking up to the sun and birds singing... it could be 4 in the morning and i'd be perfectly happy waking up to that... especially if i had been sleeping in a tent
i am terrified of heights... hate them, but loved skydiving
i dream of a place where people break out into choreographed song on the street... watching "glee" and eating jelly beans fuels this dream, it's just so happy
i'm a socialist at heart... controversial to some
i would love to open a cafe called "holy guacomole" because a friend of mine had a dream where someone gave him a chimichanga and told him, "keep this chimichanga for Mother Teresa"... pure genius
Sunday, 28 March 2010
a chronological re-visit of God's wonders
Another chapter done. A quick summary would look something like this:
February 2009 -- spontaneous conclusion to a trip round-the-world. Landing in Edinburgh, as soon as I stepped outside of the plane door into the Scottish air, a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I knew in my heart I was home, for now.
And a room in my old flat had opened up the night before. I was moving home!
March 2009 -- after returning to the UK, the severity of the recession was starting to become a reality as fewer and fewer job opportunities appeared on the market, and fewer still even bothered to send me a rejection letter after applying. Keeping my silly optimism, landed a casual waitressing job at a restaurant up the road, working 2-3 times a week and scraping by on rent.
May 2009 -- after failing to get a more consistent waitressing job in a cafe and losing my other waitressing job, I got on a train to Pitlochry for a conference on a Friday afternoon with no prospects of employment. At all. And feeling quite sorry for myself at that point deep down, due to my inability to make a latte and be employable.
That night, in a byre over lasagne with people I didn't really know, two of the conference staff kept talking about the Scottish holiday they were hosting that following week in the Cairngorms and how they needed volunteers to help make it happen. I ignored the first comment, but as it continued to come up over the course of dinner and the conference, it finally sunk in that I had no plans for the following year, much less the following week, so said I could help out. And found myself on a train to Kinguissie Sunday night to spend a week cooking, cleaning, hiking, bird watching and dolphin watching in the Highlands.
On the train journey back to Edinburgh, I was asked to apply for a post with the charity.
June 2009 -- traveled to London for my interview and was convinced that I wasn't getting the job. How wrong I was.
August 2009 -- two weeks of training with A Roch for a two-day / week post. With the expiration of my visa looming over my head, I knew it was a great start but wasn't enough to keep me in the UK. A post for an admin role in Edinburgh appeared online. Three days / week. Contact: a friend of mine.
September 2009 -- started working full time, 2 days a week for A Rocha, three days a week for this university. Needed to start lining up details for the visa application now that employment was in place. Certain amount of funds needed by Nov 1.
November 2009 -- funds in the bank.
January 2010 -- employers more than willing to be flexible and have A Rocha employ me full time and sponsor me for my visa. Certificate of sponsorship comes through 1 week before the deadline for my application.
February 2010 -- application in the post the day before the deadline. Peace settles in my heart, and an echoing voice saying -- I provide all that you need for my promises to be fulfilled.
Called in for biometrics.
March 2010 -- approval letter, passport and visa ID card arrive in the post, one week before I'm leaving the country to go on holiday in Morocco.
God is funny, timely and loves in such an extravagant, BIG way! Even when I question, He smiles and provides with arms wide open.
And God said, "I will be with you." -- Exodus 4:12
February 2009 -- spontaneous conclusion to a trip round-the-world. Landing in Edinburgh, as soon as I stepped outside of the plane door into the Scottish air, a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I knew in my heart I was home, for now.
And a room in my old flat had opened up the night before. I was moving home!
March 2009 -- after returning to the UK, the severity of the recession was starting to become a reality as fewer and fewer job opportunities appeared on the market, and fewer still even bothered to send me a rejection letter after applying. Keeping my silly optimism, landed a casual waitressing job at a restaurant up the road, working 2-3 times a week and scraping by on rent.
May 2009 -- after failing to get a more consistent waitressing job in a cafe and losing my other waitressing job, I got on a train to Pitlochry for a conference on a Friday afternoon with no prospects of employment. At all. And feeling quite sorry for myself at that point deep down, due to my inability to make a latte and be employable.
That night, in a byre over lasagne with people I didn't really know, two of the conference staff kept talking about the Scottish holiday they were hosting that following week in the Cairngorms and how they needed volunteers to help make it happen. I ignored the first comment, but as it continued to come up over the course of dinner and the conference, it finally sunk in that I had no plans for the following year, much less the following week, so said I could help out. And found myself on a train to Kinguissie Sunday night to spend a week cooking, cleaning, hiking, bird watching and dolphin watching in the Highlands.
On the train journey back to Edinburgh, I was asked to apply for a post with the charity.
June 2009 -- traveled to London for my interview and was convinced that I wasn't getting the job. How wrong I was.
August 2009 -- two weeks of training with A Roch for a two-day / week post. With the expiration of my visa looming over my head, I knew it was a great start but wasn't enough to keep me in the UK. A post for an admin role in Edinburgh appeared online. Three days / week. Contact: a friend of mine.
September 2009 -- started working full time, 2 days a week for A Rocha, three days a week for this university. Needed to start lining up details for the visa application now that employment was in place. Certain amount of funds needed by Nov 1.
November 2009 -- funds in the bank.
January 2010 -- employers more than willing to be flexible and have A Rocha employ me full time and sponsor me for my visa. Certificate of sponsorship comes through 1 week before the deadline for my application.
February 2010 -- application in the post the day before the deadline. Peace settles in my heart, and an echoing voice saying -- I provide all that you need for my promises to be fulfilled.
Called in for biometrics.
March 2010 -- approval letter, passport and visa ID card arrive in the post, one week before I'm leaving the country to go on holiday in Morocco.
God is funny, timely and loves in such an extravagant, BIG way! Even when I question, He smiles and provides with arms wide open.
And God said, "I will be with you." -- Exodus 4:12
Sunday, 21 February 2010
shadows of tears
i want to talk and talk and talk and talk... but i can't find the words to say...
my heart is aching, wounded, broken... but light and secure...
to be forgiven is one thing... to live it out is another...
to be released from the past and the sin and the anger and mistakes allows me to act more fully in love, peace, patience, kindness... but do i have the courage to go through with it all?
God will grant me strength... but how do i know how to use it?
and why do i find it easier to trust in perfect strangers than those who were there the day i was born?
does this geographical distance reflect the wall that i've placed around my heart? do the wounds run so deep i need to hide them with an ocean?
at what point do i speak? at what point do i ignore it all? at what point does my pain become unbearable? at what point is it right to be honest and confrontational?
and would it do any good?
guess some of the words were there after all...
my heart is aching, wounded, broken... but light and secure...
to be forgiven is one thing... to live it out is another...
to be released from the past and the sin and the anger and mistakes allows me to act more fully in love, peace, patience, kindness... but do i have the courage to go through with it all?
God will grant me strength... but how do i know how to use it?
and why do i find it easier to trust in perfect strangers than those who were there the day i was born?
does this geographical distance reflect the wall that i've placed around my heart? do the wounds run so deep i need to hide them with an ocean?
at what point do i speak? at what point do i ignore it all? at what point does my pain become unbearable? at what point is it right to be honest and confrontational?
and would it do any good?
guess some of the words were there after all...
Saturday, 20 February 2010
taken like moths
"Humanity is identity. All men are the same clay. No difference, here below at least, in predestination. The same darkness before, the same flesh during, the same ashes after life. But ignorance, mixed with the human composition, blackens it. This incurable ignorance possesses the heart of man, and there becomes Evil.
... What is required to exorcise these goblins? Light. Light in floods. No bat resists the dawn. Illuminate the bottom of society."
... What is required to exorcise these goblins? Light. Light in floods. No bat resists the dawn. Illuminate the bottom of society."
- Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
spring thaw
Edinburgh has been blessed to get a really white, beautiful Christmas and New Years holiday... now it's all melting and turning slushy and muddy like the Scottish winters I've seen before, but it makes me sad because I love the snow... it's fun, it's cold, it's surprising, it's fun, it wakes me up in the morning, it's fun, it reminds me of my childhood, it makes me feel justified in eating lots and drinking hot chocolates, and it's fun... and now it's all going away and getting messy... bring on the daffodils... in january... :(
but reflecting and being all metaphorical like i like to be, i really want my heart to thaw a bit this year... there are walls i'd rather not have to maintain, hurts i'd like to let heal, people i'd like to forgive, and pasts i'd like to move on from... some run deeper than others... but they all hold me back and weigh me down... i know i can't do it alone and i don't want to do it alone... to let go, to be vulnerable, one has to be secure enough to go into that open space, to believe that there is more love present than pain, more acceptance and less judgement, and peace that will remain after the storms...
with some of these things, i'm struggling to have the courage to break down the bricks... with others i'm simply lost and don't know where to start...
a resolution i've made this year is to listen more... i firmly believe God speaks to stumbling fools like yours truly, and i've heard his voice before... it has come as guidance and as comfort... but right now i need to have the faith that it comes as truth...
so here's to a messy and muddy spring... and the flowers that may bloom through it all
but reflecting and being all metaphorical like i like to be, i really want my heart to thaw a bit this year... there are walls i'd rather not have to maintain, hurts i'd like to let heal, people i'd like to forgive, and pasts i'd like to move on from... some run deeper than others... but they all hold me back and weigh me down... i know i can't do it alone and i don't want to do it alone... to let go, to be vulnerable, one has to be secure enough to go into that open space, to believe that there is more love present than pain, more acceptance and less judgement, and peace that will remain after the storms...
with some of these things, i'm struggling to have the courage to break down the bricks... with others i'm simply lost and don't know where to start...
a resolution i've made this year is to listen more... i firmly believe God speaks to stumbling fools like yours truly, and i've heard his voice before... it has come as guidance and as comfort... but right now i need to have the faith that it comes as truth...
so here's to a messy and muddy spring... and the flowers that may bloom through it all
Thursday, 31 December 2009
home for hearts
the last day of 2009 -- end of a year, end of a decade... personally, my sinuses are blocked and i slept 12 hours last night and still feel tired, so will probably be a quiet night, but i wish you all many happy celebrations!
a reflection on this year -- i've learned that what we truly seek in life is love... whether it's love for what you do, who you are with, where you are, or within one special person, we all want to feel love and be loved... although curiosity, anger, or ambition causes us to go places and do things as well, we always seek to return to the source of love...
let 2010 be the year of love for you
a reflection on this year -- i've learned that what we truly seek in life is love... whether it's love for what you do, who you are with, where you are, or within one special person, we all want to feel love and be loved... although curiosity, anger, or ambition causes us to go places and do things as well, we always seek to return to the source of love...
let 2010 be the year of love for you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)