vintage

thursday night involved a long tangent in my bible study about predestination, the philosophy and definition of choice, and what condemnation means... it was fun, but i'm not going there tonight, i don't think...
a random thought i had today at the cinema as i sold two tickets to a couple that were probably in their 80s... she was going deaf and wanted to be sure she could hear the movie, and he was checking for her... looking out for each other... i don't think a lot of people in my generation will have that... the 40+ years of marriage/knowing each other, inside and out, said and unsaid, done and undone, hurt and healing... we jump in and out of relationships to extremes, marriage is a formality, and i fear my generation will grow old lonely... not necessarily alone, but i think most of us will lack that companionship... with the high rate of divorce, people leaving each other, and surface lack of caring about stability in the home life will lead to an interesting retirement for a lot of us... not that i'm trying to condemn those who get divorces, etc etc... some relationships don't work and are better ended than continued just for formalities sake... but rushing in and rushing out may have long term effects that we just can't imagine right now...
although i am far from a relationship at this point in my life, i look forward to the day, if it comes, that i will walk down a beach, hand in hand (maybe) with the guy that knows i don't like tomatoes, love chocolate, must have a pet dog, is slightly scared of growing old, has a dream to visit antarctica, and that i started going deaf at 23 (i think)... being alone doesn't bother me... loneliness does...
makes me also contemplate the idea of having a family... growing old without future generations of my dna to keep me company and keep me young... but that's for another night, my friends...
love. peace. dreams. sleep.

long time no see

so... its been a while..

i've been busy -- which is pathetic but here's a review:

i started working another job at a flower/chocolate shop... great atmosphere, great co-workers, just wouldn't suggest starting working at a flower shop the week before valentines day :)

but had the chance to go up to aviemore to visit jared and zelda for a day, which was great to get up to the highlands again... funny, how a perk to moving to scotland involved the highlands and how i have only been there once in the last year and a half...

and spent the weekend in the lakes district of england with 2 couples from my bible study... was really good, a 8 mile hike or something on sunday, following a pub afternoon on saturday, eating and watching the scotland/england rugby game (and scotland won, who knew?)

other than that, not much else going on in my lil' life... finishing up vaccinations, tickets are bought, and places for volunteering are adding up and filling up space... on may 14th, i am leaving the uk to travel the world and do volunteer/work in conservation/wildlife/ ecotourism/whatever with 4 people from my masters course... i've made some good friends with my travel agent and my travel nurse :) that is the short story, and here is a mini-map of where we will be (just travel from the UK to the US and continue west)... starts May 2008, finishes May 2009... another escape from the real world, to see the real world, and see where this education of mine can actually take me and what we can do to help heal this broken lil' world of ours...

the morning after

i was walking on the mound in the city centre of edinburgh a few months ago, must have been a nice day, cuz i was wearing my macalester rugby sweatshirt... a guy stopped me, with the question, "is that macalester in minnesota?" and the conversation led on to mentioning his friend who went to mac and now works for the mlb here in europe... he asked if i worked at starbucks, and after i denied that, he got on a bus and was off and away...
a while later, while sitting at my gramma's apartment, i remembered this conversation and googled this macalester alum's name and found his contact email and decided after zero rational thought to drop him a line, merely because of the UK/Mac connections... received an email a few days later and was told that a pint would be great and he'd be in town early february... he also told me his friend's name (who disappeared on the bus) and i facebooked him and found him too... i call it networking :)
early february it is, and last night i met up with tom and scott and miscellaneous friends of theirs at a pub after work for an extremely funny, comical, over the top, encouraging, and random night out... got to catch up on some chat about mac coaches and athletic staff, and the random conversations that occur between 7 men and one on-looking female.. :D
tom and i are planning on hosting a mac alumni event sometime in the spring for anyone in edinburgh or the general area i guess.. but it was a fantastic night (and i didn't buy a single drink!) and very good company...
i love random connections.

mead, thunder, and the curiosity of the octopus

i'm currently reading a book on the history of norse mythology and although its a spastic introdution to the norse gods and beliefs and it tries to make really vague corrolations to other cultures and modern issues and the like (which makes it difficult to follow and retain, even for my attention span), it is interesting and makes me think...
scandinavia was the area of europe that resisted christianity for the longest time, and held out until the 6th-7th century (keep in mind, i'm no historian so my dates will be broad)... even during the conversion period, there were a lot of compromises, it seems, to help ease this change along... the recognition of thor, odin, and other norse gods in coins, later-dated literature, prayers and rituals from sailors and leaders, as well as prayers, poetry, and worship of Jesus and the judeo-christian God... there was a mold found at an excavation site that had forms for both odin's hammer and Christ's cross, on the same plate... tradition is a difficult thing to smolder... i can see where thor and odin were retained due to their traditional direct integration of the harvest, the sea, and wisdom, whereas the christian God was now personal, although also creator and ruler over everything... but an interesting contrast... it annoys me when the author of this book continually makes parallels between norse legends and biblical accounts, such as people mourning over the death of their respective gods/Savior, that these coincidences are evidences of the merging of the beliefs... of course their is mourning in both: they were both sacrifices and resulted in death, most mourn when that happens to someone they love... but my lil' rant aside...
it also makes me wonder when religion becomes mythology... it seems that conversion to Christianity is often recorded, insinuating that there was a belief to convert from... it seems very natural for people to belief in something unseen, greater than themselves, controlling the uncontrollable... but there's something about Christianity, and a few other major religions, that have stood the test of time in the last ~2000 years and they haven't become mythology, as much as post-modern thinking would almost prefer... we have science and reason and logic to explain the world: we have microscopic signatures in our DNA that link us to monkeys and fungi, we have explored space beyond our moon, we have history to tell us that human rights should and do exist... but we still don't know what lives in the deepest crevices of the ocean floor, how maned sloths find one another and reproduce, and exactly what drives this thing called love...
tangents... i can't explain it all, i've always been one for questions and i have the tendency to forget the answers, if they are there... but if i've gathered anything from this reading on mythology, it serves as a testament to the human nature of soul-seeking and the exploitation of beliefs to justify inhumanity...
but more on that later...

boulders, bricks, and cracking mortar

you know when things just really aren't going your way.... makes you wonder if you should be going that way at all... it just seems that everything in the last 72 hours has gone wrong, from little things to some big things... and i'm kinda lost on what to do about it all... i wonder if the uncertainty of my plans, which is somewhat discouraging, is supposed to be discouraging and i'm supposed to react as such... but as stubborn as i am, i will keep fighting it all... for now... and have faith that it will get me somewhere, hopefully along some path that seems right...
God took care of thousands in a desert for 40 years, i'm sure He can take care of me in this rainy country for a few more months...

the rise of the tides

my life has been absorbed by paperwork since returning to scotland... in a good way... it breaks up the monotony of going to work 1-9 every day... yeppers, every. day.
so i'm applying for a work visa and a new job... prayers would be good...
but it's good to be back... i loved LOVED catching up with so many people that are so important to me, even though our encounters are few and far between... catching up with people in edinburgh (and making new, random acquaintances) will keep me highly entertained for a while :D
but these are my thoughts from a few nights ago... then i'm back to immigration... but its been awhile since i've reflected on faith, God, and where i'm straggling along in this journey we're all on...

1 corinthians 10 -- the believer's freedom
everything is permissible -- but not beneficial or constructive.
we all have free will, choices, options, we can do anything... but we need to think of others... we are all connected... i'm definitely not an example of thinking of others... i left the country where all my relatives and many of my friends are, far far away from where they can reach me... the degree of selfishness on that choice in my life changes each time i analyze it... i don't like that my choices hurt people... and i don't always know that God is leading me where i'm taking myself... but if i keep my focus on Him, He'll be with me wherever i end up... so i apologize to those i've hurt, to those who feel somewhat abandoned, left behind, unprioritized... my love is still with many across the ocean... but this is where i am now... for now...

the megaphone

sports are great... in the past week, the patriots (nfl) have become only the 4th team in football history to have an undefeated regular season and that game versus the giants was spectacular! the score was close, it came down to the last play, there were big plays and there were solid drives and really, really enjoyable to watch... congrats to the pats for winning and breaking several records... but congrats to the giants for actually playing the game... several commentators were talking about how the giants didn't need to play to win, they are guaranteed a spot in the play-offs, and they could've played their second string and given the pats their place in history... and they showed up and rocked the pats world...
the penguins and sabres played in the first outdoor nhl game in the us in history... the weather couldn't have been better -- snow! and wind and all kinds of the crazy stuff that hockey players grew up playing in... no more climate control (but zamboni's were still on call)... all about the elements and the puck... very fun game to watch (and i hope it was fun to play)...
i enjoyed watching the glitz of professional sports disappear for a short time... football was not about rolling over and letting the top dogs win... hockey was not about the biggest fight... it was about playing the game... good on ya guys...