vintage

thursday night involved a long tangent in my bible study about predestination, the philosophy and definition of choice, and what condemnation means... it was fun, but i'm not going there tonight, i don't think...
a random thought i had today at the cinema as i sold two tickets to a couple that were probably in their 80s... she was going deaf and wanted to be sure she could hear the movie, and he was checking for her... looking out for each other... i don't think a lot of people in my generation will have that... the 40+ years of marriage/knowing each other, inside and out, said and unsaid, done and undone, hurt and healing... we jump in and out of relationships to extremes, marriage is a formality, and i fear my generation will grow old lonely... not necessarily alone, but i think most of us will lack that companionship... with the high rate of divorce, people leaving each other, and surface lack of caring about stability in the home life will lead to an interesting retirement for a lot of us... not that i'm trying to condemn those who get divorces, etc etc... some relationships don't work and are better ended than continued just for formalities sake... but rushing in and rushing out may have long term effects that we just can't imagine right now...
although i am far from a relationship at this point in my life, i look forward to the day, if it comes, that i will walk down a beach, hand in hand (maybe) with the guy that knows i don't like tomatoes, love chocolate, must have a pet dog, is slightly scared of growing old, has a dream to visit antarctica, and that i started going deaf at 23 (i think)... being alone doesn't bother me... loneliness does...
makes me also contemplate the idea of having a family... growing old without future generations of my dna to keep me company and keep me young... but that's for another night, my friends...
love. peace. dreams. sleep.