time travel

hmmm new years resolutions...
a new start, a new beginning, right after 5 weeks of eating a lot, or not necessarily a LOT, but a little, constantly... being lazy, enjoying the company of many loved ones, sitting around, catching up over coffee/cider/eggnog/hot chocolate/dinner/dessert and then watching holiday movies/the football game/old family videos/people open gift after gift after gift... the holidays are a break from our normal schedules, reality, life... and after new years, our last 24 hours of indulgence, all of it comes rushing back as we go back to our lives, seeing the extra calories, feeling the lack of exercise, receiving the credit card bills.. so new years resolutions are made, in those moments between weakness and being overwhelmed, when we are inspired and motivated to do something different with our lives, change small things and big things, to make our lives better...
i've never been a fan of new years resolutions... maybe because its not a big thing for anyone in my family, just like i've never really been big on giving things up for lent... but that changed last year and it was a good change (i gave up being lazy... it worked, for awhile)... maybe i'll have a new years resolution to not be lazy all year... that would do me some good... its one of the greater struggles in my life... to be lackadaisical, apathetic, too accepting -- to the point of being spineless about the events in life... its a fear i have, to settle for anything less than what i expect or wish... i like contentment, comfort, just not settling... not that i feel i have settled for anything, the instability in my life should give enough evidence for that... i just don't want to slip into the real world everyone keeps telling me about and asking me about and if i have a future planned out...
but i still have time to figure out a new years resolution, i guess...